I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Randomize
