im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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