I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
