so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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