We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
