She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
