The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
