I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
