the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
