Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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