Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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