need another drink. this is the easiest way
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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