i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
