yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
