so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
