Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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