I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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