All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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