You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
time to smoke my breakfast
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
