the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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