My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
