If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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