I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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