Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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