u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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