Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
