I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
