If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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