I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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