do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
