You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
