Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
