About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is the high leading the old right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
