True but thats because hes a fetus.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
