Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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