Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
