No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
