i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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