Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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