break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This is the high leading the old right now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
