I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
