Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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