Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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