we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
