CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
