so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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