Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
