i think i have herpe
just one?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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