i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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