My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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