i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
