What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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